The Backseat

So pretty much everything took a backseat to my pregnancy since September. It's hard to write that. Knowing that I pretty much failed at everything. From basics like laundry and clean bathrooms, to hot meals for hubby, and being a parent. I don't have guilt about it anymore. I let it go. It truly was survival that most people don't understand. My friend LINDSAY and I joke that besides Kate Middleton no one actually understands what severe nausea and vomiting is like. But thankfully the intensity of that is mostly gone. I am down to one Zofran a day and have now reached the three week mark since throwing up. Praise the Lord! I no longer feel like I am drowning. But now I have a whole other issue I am working through.

Dealing with every single thing that was thrown into the backseat.

I know that eventually all the laundry will get done and put away, I am cooking vegetarians meals so that at least there is food on the table, and we are even getting a kitchen renovation finished.

But the thing that I feel like I can't get back are all the moments with my kids. There were days I couldn't lift my head up or I would throw up and Avery was making lunches and helping Ellie go to the bathroom.

Another thing thrown to the backseat was school. We did the basics. Not all these elaborate awesomely fun lessons I had planned through the summer. But instead workbook pages. The antithesis of the "school" I want my kids to be a part of. And during that I lost Reece a little bit. For months I couldn't figure it out. He wasn't interested in learning to read. He loved doing math, but fought me on his lessons. But then he would turn around and make these elaborate engineering projects on his own.

It wasn't until one day a couple of weeks ago that I was looking on Pinterest- trying to find the right faucet- that I noticed a homeschool pin about gifted kids. I clicked on it out of curiosity and was FLOORED! Reece had all but two of the gifted qualities.

And then it dawned on me. The Backseat. If I hadn't been forced to throw my whole life into the backseat during the fall I would have caught it. I have a DEGREE in EDUCATION. I took GRADUATE courses on the GIFTED CHILD. And I missed ALL OF THE SIGNS.

So I did the first thing I could think of- spent money. Ha! I ordered new math curriculum and reorganized his workbox cart. But the biggest thing is just seeing him through different eyes. And what a difference it has made. Now I listen in amazement when he tells me about all of these designs he is creating. I watch him completely fascinated. Like there's this whole other little man before me and I finally have a glimpse into him as a person.

There are still a few things in the backseat that need to be moved up and dealt with, but for this moment I am enjoying my little man. I am so thankful for him. He has no idea how much I love him and how happy it makes me to have a son.