Aye Aye Aye....

You know when you have weeks when you just don't like who you are as a mom.

Have issues with your post-baby body.

Don't have Christmas spirit.

Snap at your husband.

Walk around in a generally bad mood.

Yell at the kids.

Want to hide in bed with the covers over my head.

Grumble, Grumble, Grumble.

That's been me the last couple of weeks. The kids aren't sleeping well at night, traveling, eating crappy food, fighting during homeschooling, laundry piled high......

aye aye aye.

Just those kinds of days. I know it won't last. It's gonna change soon. But right now it's a little frustrating because I want to fix it.

I think it's ultimately because the spirit is working in me and part of me is fighting it. Shane and I have been contemplating downsizing and moving to a farm, purging our possessions, and living a simpler life. And it totally appeals to me. But the thought completely stresses me out and overwhelms me. Not because I don't think it's a good idea, but because I hate how attached to things I am. So I think for some reason this inward struggle is making me short tempered and stressed out. I had to even put the book Radical away for a little bit because I was feeling so completely freaked out by it.

I don't know ultimately what we are suppose to do as a family, but I know that I need to relax and have peace with whatever that is.... and for heaven sakes....find that Christmas spirit.